Hi, My Chumash students (female) are learning about Pilegesh beGivah with their navi teacher (male) who does not feel comfortable discussing the issue of pilegesh in depth for tsnius reasons. They've asked me a number of questions to which I do not know the answer. Can anyone shed light on this: 1) Does a pilegesh need to cover her hair like a married woman does? 2) If there is no kesubah, how is the relationship dissolved? 3) In marriage, Mr. A cannot divorce Mrs. A, marry someone else, and then remarry Mrs A. Can he do so with a pilegesh? 4) What is the status of her children? Thanks much! -- Leah-Perl http://lookstein.org/lookjed/read.php?1,20568,20568#msg-20568 Tue, 18 Jun 2013 17:25:33 -0600 Phorum 5.2.19 http://lookstein.org/lookjed/read.php?1,20568,20584#msg-20584 http://lookstein.org/lookjed/read.php?1,20568,20584#msg-20584
1. Before Matan Torah any man or woman could “marry” by simple mutual consent. However, there was no binding contract or mutual obligations (no Kesubah). Likewise, the “marriage” could be dissolved by either party simply walking away from the relationship. (See Mishnah Torah, Kidusha, hilchos Ishus ch. 1, law 1)

2. After Matan Torah it became a positive obligation to marry a woman with Kidushin. (Ibid)

3. Before Matan Torah prostitution was allowed, but the Torah prohibits this activity as a negative commandment (punishable by lashes). According to Rambam (at least as some understand him) this prohibition only applies to relations that is not intended as a “marriage” relationship.

(According to Raavad the woman must be a prostitute that makes herself available to all men, and not someone simply having relations with one man. Rambam holds that even any intimacy outside of a relationship is prohibited as prostitution (znus).) (Ibid, law 4)

4. After Matan Torah this pre-Matan Torah marriage is called a Pilegesh—a marriage without Kiddushin or a Kesubah. It is a mutual “marriage” relationship with no formal or legally binding contract.

5. Only a king is permitted to have a Pilegesh. (Mishnah Torah, Shoftim, hilchos Melachim, ch. 4, law 4.) (Except a Jewish Maidservant marrying her master, or master’s son after Yiud.)

6. In the times of the Shoftim, however, many people took Pilagshim. This is in transgression of a positive commandment, but is not punishable (by lashes) because there is no negative prohibition.

7. If a pilegesh commits “adultery” she is permitted to remarry her husband. The adultery in affect dissolved the “marriage” and it may be resumed, although it is considered improper to take back an unfaithful mate. (See Shaalos Uteshuvos R. Avraham ben Harambam and Radbaz on Mishnah Torah, ibid.)

8. The children of a pilegesh, or the children of her adulterous affair, will not be mamzeirim (as today with children born out of wedlock). A woman is only an “Eishes Ish” after kidushin. (Ibid.)

9. I don’t know if a pilegesh has to cover her hair. My best guess is that I cannot imagine she has too, because there is no Kesubah. Immodestly is a breach of the Kesubah. Of course, if she wishes to be modest (between her and G-d, and her and her husband) she might cover her hair, but this is in no way legally binding.]]> Benyomin Walters Lookjed List Archive Mon, 21 May 2012 12:03:03 -0600 http://lookstein.org/lookjed/read.php?1,20568,20575#msg-20575 http://lookstein.org/lookjed/read.php?1,20568,20575#msg-20575 I once gave a class on the subject of Pilegesh (and outside of marriage relations) which was highlighted by a controversial responsa of Rabbi Yaakov Emden. שו"ת שאילת יעבץ חלק ב סימן טו
I can send you the source sheet if you like (let me know - avbillet@gmail.com).

Rabbi Emden's efforts will give you all the information you need, as well as his startling (thought widely unaccepted) conclusion.

I don't know the age of your students, and it is likely not the best choice to go through with them, but you will likely find it to be enlightening for yourself as you filter appropriately.

Good luck
Avi Billet]]> Avi Billet Lookjed List Archive Thu, 17 May 2012 15:28:12 -0600 http://lookstein.org/lookjed/read.php?1,20568,20571#msg-20571 http://lookstein.org/lookjed/read.php?1,20568,20571#msg-20571
Basically there are two opinions regarding what a pilegesh is. Rashi (Beraishit 25:6) holds the only difference between a wife and pilegesh is the fact that a wife has a ketubah whereas a pilegesh does not. Ramban there disagrees and is of the opinion that a pilegesh does not need kiddushin either, she is simply a woman set set aside for him.

According to Rashi, I would assume a pilegesh has all the rules of a wife...as she is considered married in every respect other than the fact that her husband can divorce without financial consequence.

According to the Ramban (and others like the Rambam in Melachim 4:4) things are a little less clear. Ramban writes a pilegesh can simply be sent off at anytime and and her children would not inherit him in any way. (There is more on the subject but for your students that should be enough.)

Also, the prohibition of marrying a second wife without divorcing the first wife is of late origin (only about a thousand years ago and is known as Cheirem D'Rebeinu Gershon) and was not in effect in the times of the Tanach.

Tzvi]]> tdaum Lookjed List Archive Wed, 16 May 2012 17:16:14 -0600 http://lookstein.org/lookjed/read.php?1,20568,20568#msg-20568 http://lookstein.org/lookjed/read.php?1,20568,20568#msg-20568 My Chumash students (female) are learning about Pilegesh beGivah with their navi teacher (male) who does not feel comfortable discussing the issue of pilegesh in depth for tsnius reasons.

They've asked me a number of questions to which I do not know the answer. Can anyone shed light on this:
1) Does a pilegesh need to cover her hair like a married woman does?
2) If there is no kesubah, how is the relationship dissolved?
3) In marriage, Mr. A cannot divorce Mrs. A, marry someone else, and then remarry Mrs A. Can he do so with a pilegesh?
4) What is the status of her children?

Thanks much!

--
Leah-Perl]]> Leah-Perl Shollar Lookjed List Archive Wed, 16 May 2012 00:46:36 -0600